Emotional Freedom... Sounds appealing doesn't it...? So many of us experience emotional suffering, so is "Emotional Freedom" actually possible and if it were, would we even want to be free of our emotions? After all isn't that what makes being human special? Doesn't being a person with feeling set us apart from simply being an animal?

Emotional Freedom is possible. But it does not mean being free of feeling any emotions, what it actually means is being free to choose how we respond to them. It is feeling our emotions with awareness and detachment. Witnessing them and the effects on the body and choosing how to ACT, rather than REACT. It is about learning how to express them in a healthy way and not letting them control us, or negatively impact our relationships, wellbeing, and happiness.

I have recently returned from an overseas trip to visit my (rather large) family and close friends back in my home area of Glastonbury, Somerset in the UK. It had been a long 4 years since my last visit, and we had an amazing time. Naturally lots of emotions were stirred up on arrival, during my many visits to family members and places of interest, then of course the sad farewells.... Since being back in Australia, I have been surprised by the mixed feelings and emotions that have surfaced for me, leading me to explore and deepen my own personal understanding of emotions, where they come from and how to deal with them.

While travelling, I watched a TV show on human emotions by a popular American self-help guru, she described us as "Emotional Beings" who made choices based on emotions. At first, I thought I agreed, but then on reflection I had to question this... Doesn't this imply we are all letting our emotions dictate our choices? I am sure many of us do...but can we trust our emotions are leading us to make good choices...?

The answer is NO! That is why I believe we are actually "Energy Beings" (Souls), living in a body, we have a mind, we experience emotions and because our culture does not teach us the emotional wisdom, we often make poor choices because of them. However, when we have the right tools, knowledge and understanding of our selves we can make choices from a soul level, NOT an emotional level. This leads us to make better decisions that work in alignment with what is best for us, rather than what will fix our emotional state. This is us being the humans we were meant to be, not conditioned to be.

Since being on my healing path, I have done a lot of self-study and self-help in order to overcome my own emotional imbalances, anxieties, traumas and stress triggers. My Yoga and Reiki Teacher Training involved deep inner work to truly heal on all levels. In that time, I have also read many books/blogs, attended workshops, watched videos, even trained to become an Emotional Freedom Technique Practitioner, and learnt what I consider, a fair amount about emotions and in particular their connection to the mind and body. This has not only helped me to heal my own emotional pain and anxiety, but has also allowed me to help others with emotional stress and pain on a professional level.

Despite all this learning, after returning home from the UK I was feeling stuck in my own negative thoughts and feelings.. I love where I live, I usually feel very happy and blessed to return back to the Sunshine Coast after being away. However, on arriving back from my 1month holiday, I was surprised to be feeling what you could class as "post-holiday blues, feelings of sadness, cultural and seasonal adjustment issues. The sudden sense of responsibility of a house, business, and family to run after a month of fun and freedom, was weighing me down. I could feel the effect these emotions were having on my body as tension built in my neck and shoulders.

I meditated and acknowledged how I was feeling and gave myself permission to be in them for a while and expected them to pass. But it seemed my monkey mind had got hold of these feelings, I was stuck in my head and a loop had taken hold of me, resulting in more negative thinking, which then produced even more negative emotions... vicious cycle!

My reaction to these feelings in the past would have had me comfort eating and seeking out ways to distract/suppress/rid myself of the feelings, making impulsive decisions. However, now my awareness allowed me to choose differently. I had little time for Yoga practice while in England, so I knew it was time to get back on the mat.

I headed to a Yoga class and as I sat on my Yoga mat, I set my intention – to be present with my body and breath and to find my joy and peace again. At first it wasn't easy.. after a month of minimal yoga practice my body was stiff and tired, my mind rebelling. However, gradually, as my breath slowed down and my body moved to the teachers instructions, I found myself getting out of my head and into my body. I felt myself become more present. I stopped thinking about my holiday and the people I will miss. I stopped dwelling on next week and the work ahead of me. My body strengthened. My neck and shoulders relaxed. I was just there, moving in time with my breath. Feeling the energy lines awaken in my body. I began to feel good. "Ahhh.. this is why I love Yoga" I thought.

It was during this class that I received a download of clarity. It felt like a small epiphany... a Eureka moment! (I love how Yoga and Meditation can bring that sometimes!) I was shown where my emotions were coming from.... MY THOUGHTS!!

I realised; My thoughts are making me feel these uncomfortable emotions! When I am present, without the thoughts, I feel content.

When I am negatively thinking thoughts such as: "I am going to miss my family so much, I wish they weren't so far away"... my body feels weaker, my mood is low and naturally I feel sadness. When I stop thinking and become focused in one-pointed concentration, I feel strong, I feel good.

This one pointed concentration gives me the space to reflect, I can then see that if I change my thoughts to " I had such a wonderful time with my family, I can't wait to plan my next visit." That I free myself of the negative emotions. I feel a smile come into my heart.

I could see it clearly in my mind: MY THOUGHTS = MY EMOTIONS

If you know "The Works" by Byron Katie, she often talks people through a process where she turns around the negative thought to something more positive in order to make the client feel better. We facilitate a similar process in EFT also. However, up until this point I hadn't considered that the thought was first and this was potentially creating the emotional response. This experience reminded me that if I stopped my mind from thinking about past/future and I became present, my emotions settled and I felt better.

Then I had to ask, is this the case for ALL emotions?? Hmmm...

There are of lots of other factors that can negatively affect our emotions/moods. Such as:

Hormone Levels

Poor sleep

Lack of exercise

Poor diet– in particular high consumption of sugar, caffeine, processed foods

Drugs/alcohol

Emotional contagions (Such as environments, people, social media)

Trauma triggers – (Unresolved trauma big or small can trigger emotional reactions/thoughts)

Illness/disease

Mental health disorders

Astral/Moon/Planetary influences

And more..

These all have an impact on our mood and how we feel, but perhaps it is because they change how we are thinking, which then brings the emotional response...if we become aware of our thoughts and change them, we can gain control of our emotions and reactions.

Anxiety, is our bodies natural alarm system designed to protect us, however is now quite often brought on by negative thoughts, beliefs and fears, not by real life threats. For some of us anxiety can also be triggered unconsciously from past trauma, big or small. If we fear and avoid our anxiety it strengthens and worsens, however if we face and embrace our anxious feelings and learn from them, they can strengthen and protect us. I will need to share more about living with anxiety in a future blog!

Of course, not all emotions are negative, we have a whole bunch of positive emotions such as love, admiration and excitement to name a few. So is it the same for these emotions? When we SEE something beautiful or experience love or admiration for someone, does the thought or the feeling come first? Perhaps it is one of those mysteries, like the case of the chicken or the egg..!? Personally, when it comes to positive feelings, I feel my emotional reaction in my body first, like a flutter in my belly or warmth in my heart and then the thought follows.

Let's take love as an example, you see a person you love for the first time, perhaps a newborn child or a soul mate. Your heart/soul reacts, you feel this gushing, electrical response in your body and you then think "Wow I love this child/person." You can be completely present with the person, eye to eye and be feeling the emotion we call love, without thinking anything. We can be in one-pointed concentration and be feeling the emotion. So in this instance it seems the emotion comes before the thought. This emotion is coming from truth/soul/heart - not the thoughts!

What I have come to understand is that a lot of our negative emotions are often coming from our thoughts/monkey mind/ego and the majority of our positive emotions are coming from our heart/soul. Anxiety is being aware and understanding where our emotions are coming from is a huge step towards emotional freedom. But how do we develop this awareness?

Coincidentally I came across this quote from Sri Avanash this week (see the image below)

This means, by taking up the practice of one-pointed concentration we can develop emotional freedom. Any form of meditation IS one-pointed concentration and an excellent way to develop emotional freedom, however, if we are really stuck in our thoughts/head/emotions it can be hard to focus in a seated meditation.

That is why Yoga can be so helpful and EFT and many other forms of mindful activity, as long as you are present and focused, you will find it helpful.

One pointed focus practiced on a daily basis gives us longer periods of being present and content, develops our mental strength and the detachment to PAUSE when we feel an emotion and become aware of our thoughts. This awareness is GOLD. Taking a step to pause and reflect gives us the opportunity to then choose an ACTION from the heart/soul/true self, instead of a REACTION from the emotional/false self. In this pause, we can question the thought – Is it true? Can I turn this around into something more positive/productive?

Here are some examples of some Reactions and Actions to common emotions:

Example 1: ANGER.

Your child says NO to you too many times and you think "They should do as they are told! I can't cope with this.." You feel anger building in your jaw and throat. You may even react, by yelling or scolding. THOUGHT + EMOTION = REACTION

OR

You notice the anger and PAUSE by walking away for a few moments to breathe (Zebra breath comes to mind!!) and answer that negative voice in your head with: "I am coping. They are only 3 years old and they are doing what all toddlers do. I will give them one more chance and give them a consequence if they do not listen". You choose an action instead of being in the anger and having a reaction. THOUGHT + EMOTION + PAUSE = ACTION

Example 2. FEAR.

You are about to apply for a new dream job, then in comes the thought "What if I am not good enough, or what if I don't like it?" A knot builds in your stomach. You react by, screwing up the job application and not applying for the job. THOUGHT + EMOTION = REACTION

OR

You notice the fear in your stomach and PAUSE to take some deep breaths and question the thoughts in your mind. You reply to the voice in your head with: "I am good enough, I will apply and do my best and see how it goes." You feel the fear dissipate and apply for the job.

THOUGHT + EMOTION + PAUSE = ACTION

Example 3: GUILT

After a busy week you feel drained and worn out so are you are longing to spend some time on your own to recharge. You express this to your family, however they want you to spend time helping them with something. You begin to feel guilty for wanting to take time alone, you feel confusion in your head and tension in your shoulders and believe you are a selfish person for wanting to be alone and not help. You give in to the guilt and spend the time with the family and do not get the time you needed to recharge so wind up resentful, snappy and grumpy. You drink a bottle of wine to make yourself feel better and wake up the next day with a headache and still need time alone.THOUGHT + EMOTION = REACTION

OR

You pause to feel the guilt and question the belief and tell yourself you are not selfish for needing time alone and give yourself permission to take time out. You let your family know you want to spend time with them too and will be much better company after some time to yourself. You take a long bath and meditate, then return to your family recharged and are able to offer a much happier, helpful version of yourself to your family without the need to self-medicate! THOUGHT + EMOTION + PAUSE = ACTION

All sounds easy doesn't it!!? In reality it takes a lot of practice, awareness, and self-control to follow these steps. When we don't do so well and become emotionally reactive, it is best to reflect on the outcomes of the reaction, learn from them for next time and forgive ourselves for any mistakes we have made. Sometimes we may even need to offer apologies to anyone that might have been on the receiving end of our emotional reaction..!

As well as practicing one-pointed concentration, to truly understand our thoughts, feelings, and emotions, we need to take the time for self-study/reflection/contemplation on a regular basis. In Yoga we call this practice Svadhaya. We can do this during a daily meditation, or mindful walking, or any one-pointed activity that allows you to take time out for yourself. We also need to practice hitting the PAUSE button when we feel emotional, so we can observe our thoughts and where the emotions are coming from and then choose an appropriate action.

There is much more to learn, consider and discuss on this topic, I certainly do not have all the answers just yet and could write a book on all the emotions we experience, as I find it so fascinating!! For now, there is one thing I am certain of: We ALL experience and react to our feelings differently. Where they originate from (mind or heart) is always unique to the circumstance and individual.

This is why Yoga, Mediation and Emotional Freedom Technique has been so valuable for me, when one is not working the other usually will. EFT is an especially fantastic tool for quickly balancing the emotions, bringing us in to one pointed concentration while also releasing the energy and uncomfortable feelings generated in the body. The next level of EFT that I do is Matrix Reimprinting, it is a deeper step, quickly accessing the root cause of any particular emotional patterns, trauma triggers/emotional blocks/self-sabotaging beliefs associated with them that are causing ongoing pain, suffering or anxiety, preventing you from living your best life.

Emotional Freedom Technique helps you acknowledge and observe the emotions when they are happening. Sensing where they are being felt in the body. Then CHOOSING to release them so that you can be FREE to act rather than react. Choosing how we act to our emotions IS emotional freedom. Freeing yourself of trapped emotions from past trauma is emotional freedom. Feeling your anxiety but using it for positive action is emotional freedom. Emotions should not have the power to control our lives, ruin our relationships and destroy our peace and happiness.

Emotions are there to connect us, teach us, protect us and guide us. They are part of our human experience, but they do not define us. The paradox is as we learn to manage our sensitivities - they become our strengths!

We all have the power to experience emotional freedom, so we can live a more present, content and peaceful life. I hope this blog has inspired you to think about your own thoughts and emotions and given you some insight on how to manage your own feelings. If you are struggling, I can offer many forms of support, such as personalised audio meditations, Reiki healing and private sessions for yoga and EFT/Matrix Reimprinting, all powerful tools that have helped me personally to change my self sabotaging beliefs and behaviors.